My whole world has righted itself now that he’s back. Seeing him com eoff that bus was one of the best moments ever. He’s finally home! <3
Crack in the strength tonight…
I don’t usually do this, I pride myself on being stronger than venting, but I’m alone and there’s no one here to tell me to get over it. Chris is coming home soon… so very soon and I’m sick, can’t seem to get anything in the house the way I want it, nothing on my well-planned out list is happening right, and my body just feels like I’m moving through water. Why is this happening now?? I haven’t been sick this whole deployment and right before he gets back I’m a sniffly, sneezy, achy, disgusting mess. I refuse to have him get here and have to take care of me, and my family is thousands of miles away, so I just feel like sitting in a corner with a bottle of Dayquil and box of Kleenex and crying my sickness away, but there’s so much left to do, and my OCD makes none of it easy. I’m willing myself to be excited and get it done, but its so hard to make myself move. I loath feeling this weak, this incapable, and it doesn’t happen often, I promise. Fuck, I just feel like crap and my husband is coming home from a war so my stupid sniffles are nothing compared to that. He won’t see any of this when he steps off that bus, but I just needed to tell someone, and I figured one among you would understand.
